As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
