sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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