I'm really into asian looking animals
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
