I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize