apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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