More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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