help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
