Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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