we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
