Me too!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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