i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
