He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
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He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All the doctor said was why
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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