Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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