Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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