ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
