what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
