im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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