just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
