I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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