Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
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If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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