oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
