He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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