I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
