If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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