i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
