we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
