So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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