i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ladies don't puke and tell
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
