I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
