You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
