New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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