I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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