We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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