No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
