They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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