last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
