I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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