i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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