She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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