I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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