If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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