I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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