I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize