it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
