ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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