I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize