Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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