how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
