he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
