I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
