Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize