what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
