I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
