Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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