Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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