Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
