i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize