i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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