How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
