Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
